Jocelyn Geise's RA

From Start to Finish

Where to begin? I have so much to say and only so many characters to say it. These past four years have been a rollercoaster- sometimes I can't wait to go again and other times I want to get off but have had to hold on tight, close my eyes, and hope for the best. I've learned so many valuable lessons over the years and I would share them but I know now that reading about lessons and gaining those for yourself are completely different. I don't want to tell you what to do within your FFA career, because I had that myself. I don't have any of your stories to tell and I know many of you are looking for a sappy story, but I'm not that type of girl, so I guess that leaves one story- a story many won't believe but a story nonetheless- the Truth.

Starting at the bottom of the Totem pole freshman year there was a girl who wanted to find her place in this new world. She joined many clubs and helped out wherever she could but she never felt complete. Never felt like she was making a difference Jumping to sophomore year this girl was determined to do better by those who trusted her, was ready to make people proud. She put work into what she was doing and tried new things that she felt helped make a bigger difference yet she still wasn't sure what she was doing even as she was surrounded by her friends. Junior year she started to doubt herself and her ability to the point of trying to change herself because that's what it seemed was the problem. She stopped eating so she would fit in with the other girls and resorted to driving her fingernails into her legs, to the point of bruising, so that she could feel alive even though her soul was being crushed. She felt scared, unwanted, alone, she felt like a shadow. That was until she received a surprise that carried her through Junior year into her Senior year.

Suddenly this girl who felt left out and just a figure in the crowd was leading the crowd. She had to keep busy by planning, organizing, writing, singing, acting, and she found herself putting on a smile that wasn't quite as forced or as fake. She felt as though she had finally found her place, but within this high came doubt. Doubt caused by naysayers that felt she didn't deserve the position, those who she wanted to hear from kept quite, yet within this new position she had gained a family that helped her through it. They didn't know it at the time and they still may not but she had gained a, somewhat dysfunctional, family. This family gave her purpose and it caused her to not recognize those who tried to put her down even if they were part of this large family. She felt protected and she knew that she had somewhere to go if she needed to.

"In every conceivable manner, the family is a link to our past, bridge to our future" (Alex Haley) describes exactly how I feel. My family within the FFA has saved me from disappearing and it is because of the FFA that I am who I am today. The FFA reminds me of who I was and of who I can become and it can do that for everyone if only they are willing to put themselves out their and get on the rollercoaster. They have to be willing to work hard to go up the hill so that they can enjoy going down, willing to hold on tight when they go through a loop, and most of all they have to be willing to stick with it till the end because the end holds the most beautiful destinations.

Your Retiring President,

Jocelyn Geise